Maths pick up lines…!!!

So here is the post for some of my geeky , maths loving frens…lik akhil, balki, satya.. n all who somwhw try to utilize most of their time to sharpen their maths knowlegde or to connect some maths hypothesis to their real life events… …Hopw this will help u…. ..

• You fascinate me more than the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus.
• Since distance equals velocity times time, let’s let velocity or time approach infinity, because I want to go all the way with you.
• My love for you is like a concave up function because it is always increasing.
• You and I would add up better than a Riemann sum
• Your body has the nicest arc length I’ve ever seen.
• I wish I was your derivative because then I would be tangent to your curves.
• I hope you know set theory because I want to intersect you and union you.
• I am equivalent to the Empty Set when you are not with me.
• I’m not being obtuse but you’re acute girl.
• I won’t stop bugging you until I get the address of your home page.
• I’ll love you from here to infinity.

PS. I wont take any repsonsibily of watsoever happens after u use these lines…bt its very funny imagining akhil n balki saying these lines… …

Computer Gender…?????

Women claim that computers should be referred to in the masculine
gender because:

1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

2. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem.

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer you could have had a better model.

Men concluded that computers should be referred to in the feminine
gender because:

1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for retrieval.

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending
half your paycheck on accessories for it.

What do u think… ..???

 

Sweet Memories..

This weekend was among the best times i have had in recent months…So whats the reason..??Just i was too happy to meet my family and talk to them, for like 5-6 straight hrs..late into the night…huh…it was really awesome..!!

Well..I stay in a hostel and usually dont get alot of time to talk with the family..besides both of my sisters work and they also dnt stay with my parents..so in all it takes ” God’s hand ” to put my family together in a small room just for a talk without any occation..bt this weekend it did happen..!! ( bt again it wasn’t that perfect of an incident…Dad wasn’t there..missed him a lot..)

It was amazing feeling..we talked abt our childhood..the best times we had..the little things we used to do to tease each other..actually my mom was very surprised on learning all our childhood mischieves..( it was expected..3 of us ( me n my sis) knew abt these things beforehand… )

And now as I’m writing this post I’m sitting in my cubicle….finding it hard to concentrate on the work..and the sng which pops in my mind is 

“Cause it’s a bittersweet symphony, this life
Try to make ends meet
You’re a slave to money then you die “

Once somewhere i read, “Everything is figured out..except for how to live..”…i guess its true..n it varies with individual..bt one thing everyone should do..is just take some time out of their busy lives to remember the sweet memories..with their loved ones….!!

P.S. This is a bit personal post..dont mind..

Fading Memories…!!

” memories some times behave strangely..

sometimes they help u get through the lone time..

n sometimes they make u feel alone in the crowd of ur frens..”

How strange memory is..?? I mean sometimes I try to remember something from my childhood and i struggle..hw sad it is..I’m struggling to remember the times of my life when I was so happy, carefree, enjoying every bit of my life n so innocent…And nw realising that many of my memories are slowly and gradually fading out, I’m feeling way too bad..I used to think I could cherish those good times troughout my life..Bt nw I wonder if i can even recall which was my favourite toy..the one which would make me forget every ounce of grief n pain….

How does memory work..?? hw does it selects some events to take note of  and some to just forget ( in simply a way which make us feel that those things never happened..) the human race which has broken down an atom into different components n which is now aiming for setteling on mars, has still not found out the exact answer for the memory..well research is continuing into Brain n hw memory works..bt for nw its just turning up more questions than answers.. I found an interesting explanation while browsing net :

” Every thought or incident actually liberates some waves(analogous to light) and they will be travelling all the while in all the directions and (as in law of affinity,) when it reaches a mind with similar tastes or thoughts it will enter that and as u mentioned, they will leave a mark… ! Others just move away searching for other ..  “

N imagine if u hav awesome memory…wouldn’t U be the perfect creature on the globe..??? well i would say…”think again..!!!!” .. even the “perfect memory ” status hurts…

 

For example, in 2000 Jill Price contacted brain researcher James McGaugh at the University of California, Irvine. According to an article in the Orange County Register she told McGaugh she wanted help with her memory.

“This is not a memory clinic”, the internationally renowned neuroscientist said.

“You don’t understand,” she said. “My memory is too strong … It’s like a running movie that never stops.”

“Most have called it a gift,’ she wrote to McGaugh. “But I call it a burden. I run my entire life through my head every day and it drives me crazy!!!”

 

Ms. Price has written about her experiences in the book :

The Woman Who Can’t Forget: The Extraordinary Story of Living with the Most Remarkable Memory Known to Science–A Memoir.

 

 

Well…howsoever the memory works..I’m just sad realising the fact that i wont remember the turn of events which ones made an impression on my life..( just that they failed to do the same on my memory..  ..) I guess in future i will try to recollect something and wat all i would get some of the glimpses of it..and then i will have to complete it with the help of my imagination..on the basis of some assumptions.. ..( i just hope the assumptions will turn out to be as valid as those taken by all the scientists long back to help us reach this modern world… ) or may be I would just give up on the fading memories…!!!

P.S. : I havent read the book…bt I get a chance I’ll definitely read..

S/w professionals…

S/W Professionals…………

class Indian_Bachelor_female_professional
{
double styles;
short skirts;
long time_to_understand_problems;
float mind;
void knowledge();
char non_co_operative;
};
class Married_female_Software_Professional
{
double weight;
short tempered;
long gossips;
float hopes;
void work();
char unstable;
};
class Female_Engaged_software_professional
{
double time_on_phone;
short attention_on_work;
long boast;
float on_cloud_nine;
void understanding();
char edgy;
};
class Indian_Newly_Married_software_professional
{
double dinner_invitations;
short time_at_work;
long lunch_breaks;
float talks;
void bank_balance();
char hen_pecked;
};
class Indian_husband_wife_software_professional
{
double income;
short temper;
long time_no_see;
float new_software_company;
void lov
};
Class Guy_who_put_this_here
{
Long time_pass;
Void work();
}

How to survive a day at Office…!!

Well millions of people acroos the globe think abt “hw to spend ( or rather survive ) the entire day in office..” Now that I have joined as an intern in a company..I spend most of my office time browsing internet..dats where I stumbled upon the following two ways to survive the entire office day…

 

Normal way :

 

Mentos way :

 

Which way will u follow… .. ???

Compiz Fusion on Inspiron 1525

Dell’s Inspiron 1525 laptop has ” Intel Corporation Mobile GM965/GL960 Integrated Graphics Controller” display controller..
u can see this by typing command:

lspci | grep Display

this display controller is black listed in compiz fusion..i have compiz-fusion installed on my laptop with UBUNTU gutsy-gibbon..and i couldn’t enable the effects..so what to do..??? I just modified ” /usr/bin/compiz ” to remove the blacklisting.. ..

sudo gedit /usr/bin/compiz

there you can see a separate section for blacklist

1 : # blacklist based on the pci ids
2 : # See http://wiki.compiz-fusion.org/Hardware/Blacklist for details
3 : T=” 1002:5954 1002:5854 1002:5955″ # ati rs480
4 : T=”$T 1002:4153″ # ATI Rv350
5 : T=”$T 8086:2982 8086:2992 8086:29a2 8086:2a02 8086:2a12″ # intel 965
6 : T=”$T 8086:2972″ # i965 (x3000)
7 : T=”$T 1002:3152 1002:3150 1002:5462 1002:5653 ” # ati X300 X600,X600 X700
8 : BLACKLIST_PCIIDS=”$T”
9 : unset T

( * the line numbers are not according to the file.. )

Now comment out the lines 5 and 6..and you are set..But fixing this breaks the video playback… ..temporary solution on playback recovery is changing gstreamer-properties..

press alt+F2 and type “gstreamer-properties” without quotes..
In the Video section change the “Default Output plugin” to “ no Xv “..

so it will recover the video playback but again its a temporary solution..

Just One Day..!!

Just 2 days back one of my best frens asked me a question… she receives my messages every hour of every day..( I just give her hourly details.. ) So what all she had to ask was “ U cant resist sending me messages..?? ” ( or rather talking with me in any form over phone, messages , chat..) Before the seconds hand of clock could make its move I replied casually, “ I guess I can’t…its just a habit I have taken.. ..” but this made the wheel of thoughts in mind to spin around…So what I decided..? 14 th may..just one day.. One day without sending her any message…I mean how hard can it be..? Just One Day..!!!

8:30 AM :
I woke up and immediately grabbed my cell to wish her good morning.. But then I held myself back… I’m on a one day mission.. ..

9:00 AM :
I received her message…wishing good morning.. I almost replied back.. but again…

11:00 AM :
All morning rituals were over and I had nothing to do..( that’s one downside being at home.. at hostel U somehow find something to do.. ) so I grabbed the newspaper hoping it would kill some time..

1:00 PM :
I was getting bored and thought about sending her message…I thought may be I could get myself engrossed in something I wouldn’t feel the clock ticking… ..So I decided to watch One Tree Hill tv series…but wait….one of the characters in it reminds me of her.. So I switched to “Seinfeld” and “24” instead..

4:00 PM :
I was literally killing my time.. Whenever I heard the creepy message tone on my cell I would pray it wasn’t her…( coz neither did I wanted to abort the mission not did to be a fren who is busy enough to even reply to a fren’s message…n ya creepy tone…at other times the tone would sound like a symphony to my ears… but today it sounded creepy..) i started calling my other frens…i knew it would take an hour so…

6:00 PM :
Now I was really tired… I couldn’t hold back the castle.. So I went for a walk.. Intentionally leaving my cell on the bed… ..

8:00 PM :
It was IPL time… I could get into the cricketing action and forget everything else..

Soon it was 10:00 PM time to go online.. I made it…. I didn’t send her a single message throughout the day….mission One Day is successful…

But then what this mission fetched me..?? The same answer which I gave her in a splash of a second.. The same answer….But I guess there are some things u just want to do…n u do it…the One Day was one of them..

And talking about how difficult it was….I cant put it into words… I’m just happy that the Black Wednesday is over n I can be back on my habit… …so here’s to my sweet frens… cheers!!!

So, no one told you life was gonna be this way.
Your Job’s a joke, you’re broke, your love life’s D.O.A.
It’s like you’re always stuck in second gear.
And it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month, or even your year.
But -
I’ll be there for you … when the rain starts to fall.
I’ll be there for you … like I’ve been there before.
I’ll be there for you … cause you’re there for me, too.

P.S. :

some may say i’m crazy..n i guess it wont be fair if i disagree.. …more on this later….

About Me…

I always feel that “ About Me ” column is just a place where u tell the world “I’m The Best ”..usually all brag about this or that in it.. I never write an about me column… reason is simple…coz to convince world that I’m the best.. Will require me to lie in each line of it.. …And if I don’t write that I’m the best then it wont be fair for the about me column…. but still I’ll try.. ( keeping my fingers crossed thinking atleast 1 gal would fall for the tons of crap I’m gonna lay out… …)

So here’s something about me :

Physical Properties :

1 ) Melting Point : Moderately low…and in special cases very low ( special case being involvement of a gal )

2) Boiling Point : Quite high.. doesn’t loose temper easily..

3) Face & Body Building : As much as I would like to say Hritik is jealous of me…but it would be some hundreds of galaxies away from the truth…

So the truth is : face is typical Indian enhanced with some pimple spots.. .. and what to say about body building… body is definitely present but I guess it never really started building.. ..

4) Appearance : the nearest possible example which can be visualized is “ clothes hanging on a hanger.. “ ..

Chemical Properties :

1) Emotional threshold : Quite low.. again addition of an element named gal.. tends to decrease it further…

2) Reaction with frens : Quite free with frens ( though they seem to like me more when I’m not pulling their legs …)

3) reaction with gals : A bit stable and reaction is easily controllable.. But if surface is melted then reaction may go at higher rates.. …again it depends a lot on ( u know on what )…

* Some of the properties stated above are subjected to change depending on various factors …

And the last but not the least ….. “ I’m The Best.. ”

Movie Talk 1: “The October Sky”

Hi…again…so this is a series of posts…revolving around some of the movies that worth watching…to start…the first one in the series is the famous “The October Sky”..

the age of Cold war…Russians held an upper hand by launching first ever man made satellite “sputnik” into the space…While all others were busy spotting sputnik over the october sky in US thinking it as just another “strategy” in cold war,Homer Hickam , in a small town Coalwood, took an inspiration from it…inspiration to rise above the sky from the darkness of the coal mines..he n 3 others team up to build a rocket of their own..At times falling short of money and support…they tried hard..to rise out of the each failure..

For the sake of his family Homer worked at coal mines…bt only thing he could think of was rockets..he would work hard in the mines and still study about rockets late into the nights…guided by Miss Riley at school, he was determined to achieve his goal of building a rocket and winning the scholarship at science fair…that no one from his town could even dream of..

Struggling through the ups n downs in life at Coalwood they made it to the science fair and won scholarship at prestigious institutes…

this is a must watch movie..please do watch it…one of the most inspirational n motivating movie I have ever seen..